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Earlier today on twitter something like, reasonwhyI’mnotcallingback was trending. I randomly clicked it to see what people were saying (something I rarely waste my time doing). One of the tweets was about not calling someone back because they had been breastfeeding while they were on the phone (the other person) and they added #gross to it. It got me curious so I searched twitter for breastfeeding and gross to see if there were any other posts about breastfeeding that were worthy of a #gross. Sadly I came across some - although not as many as I had expected.
I guess I just don’t understand it and would love it if someone could explain it to me. How is breastfeeding (BF) gross? I’m not one of those hardcore “You must breastfeed or you are a bad mother” type people. I totally understand the desire and the need to use formula. I had a bit of postpartum depression that I believe stemmed from breastfeeding and if I hadn’t really wanted to BF her for at least 6 months I probably would have switched to formula. While I do think breast milk cannot be duplicated and is superior to formula I have zero judgement for those who choose another way to feed their child - I don’t think it is “poison” like some people make it out to be. I have just made the decision to nurse my child until she is a year old, there is no reason not to for me.
umm where did that rambling come from??
Back to the issue - I don’t understand why people think that feeding a child is gross. I understand that many people see women’s chests to be sexual, and that is perfectly fine - but how does it make it gross to use them for their original purpose? People like to blame BFing on changes in their breast - but it is actually the pregnancy hormones that do that, not BFing. I guess I just am clueless on how it is gross. The World Health Organization actually recommends it until age 2. Now out of my own admittedly selfish reasons I will probably start pushing Norah to wean soon after her first birthday, but it has nothing to do with my thinking it would otherwise be gross.
Humans drink COWS milk without thinking anything about it - you do know that the milk from cows is their "breast milk" right? In order for a cow to start producing milk they must birth a calf and then their milk peaks at about 40-60 days after giving birth and then it slowly declines until about 300 days after having their calf, and then the start the cycle again so they can get the cow to produce more milk. So I'm curious if the person that tweeted about someone else's breast milk getting on them being gross - if they have that same gross reaction when a cow's breast milk not only gets on them, but they drink it themselves. We (children and adults) drink another animals breast milk - but yet when a child drinks the milk from their same species apparently that's gross?
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I’ve just yet to hear an intelligent argument as to why or how it is gross to breastfeed. I would love to hear one though - anyone have one? I’m honestly and legitimately asking for someone to rationally argue with me that breastfeeding is gross - more than just a "I don't know, it's just gross".
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I don't think it's gross at all and I don't think it's something to be ashamed of, but I do think that there are some people that are better at being discreet about it.
ReplyDeleteThere's a part of me that wonders if some mothers (particularly some of the "formula is poison" camp) aren't deliberately showy about it because of wanting the attention and wanting to start conversations/arguments. If I'm going to have a problem with someone/something, it's not with breastfeeding, it's with being deliberately provocative (and I don't mean sexually!)
I do think it's best to not show everything you've got just because you are nursing, although I know sometimes it's hard with a starving thrashing baby haha. I think you should be just as modest as you feel you should dress if that makes sense- of course there are many women who show MUCH more in their everyday attire than I ever do when I BF :)
DeleteI don't mind people knowing that I'm nursing but I perfer to be modest about it, not because I'm embarrassed but because I'm just modest in everyday life. I'm okay with people that don't cover up, but i do think it shouldn't be an excuse to be immodest.
What does bother me though is when it's okay to show half your boob in a revealing top, but not okay when feeding, your child.
Breastfeeding is SUCH a volatile topic! When I was pregnant, complete strangers would come up to me and ask if I was going to breastfeed. Umm, none of your business. I think some people feel uncomfortable about it because it seems so personal. But there's nothing gross about feeding a hungry baby with FREE FOOD!
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, as a formula mom, crazy BF'ing moms make me a little crazy. Yes, it's better, but it doesn't work for everyone. Plus, some moms have to go back to work right after the baby is born and are too far away to BF. Besides, public school is NOT set up for pumping or leaking. Yikes.
Jessica, I totally think it is such a personal family decision that shouldn't be judged. I'm so thankful that when I was working, Norah was in daycare in the same building so I could go down there and nurse her whenever she needed me to. I'm sure a teacher's schedule would make it difficult.
ReplyDeleteI'm certainly in the Mom's choice camp as far as BFing or formula feeding goes - it just drives me nuts when I hear people talk about BF being gross, I guess I don't understand how it's gross if the options are breastmilk or formula and I pick the free and convenient (for me) option, it's seen as gross.
It's okay though, I don't mind being gross :) There are far more gross fluids I deal with as a mom than breast milk lol!
I'm a BF mom. I believe it is a choice and shouldn't be attacked or called gross. There are lots of bad things to be said about formula also. I think the gross comes from more of BF moms being too exposed. I'm all for breast feeding but I believe that your body is private, sacred and find it upsetting and offensive to see moms sharing it with the world. Don't go hide while BFing but cover up please. I've nursed in the chapel at church. I just used a cover and continued listening to the speaker.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by :) I am a cover it person as well, and maybe that is in reference to what people are saying is gross. I guess I usually think people mean the actual act of BFing itself, but I bet you are right about the exposure of skin being a big part of what people mean by it being gross. Although a lot of those people think nothing of it when they see the same amount of skin from a revealing shirt - which I think is hypocritical. (BTW I'm modest and don't think it is appropriate to show too much skin no matter if that is in nursing or because of an immodest shirt)
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm new to your blog and found this post intriguing. I am a new to BFing myself as I formula fed my first two. My baby is 4 months old and I am just now able to nurse while in public (completely covered much to the dismay of my infant- we live in FL and it's HOT!)I am often uncomfortable with people's stares and find myself wondering if they are disgusted. I shoudn't care what other's think- I love the bond I have created with my little one while nursing and have never given a second thought to any other mom I've seen nursing. Although, I do have to admit, I don't even like to get my own breastmik on me. LOL spit up- no problem! Spill pumped milk on myself- it kinda grosses me out! My husband says I'm just weird.
ReplyDeleteNorah was born in June in Florida so I totally understand it being hot while BFing! Where in Florida are you? We recently moved from Florida to Indiana.
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