Hold Me Mimi!

   

Does every parent spend entirely too much time sad/fearful/amazed at the fact that their kids get older? I know they do, and if you look back through my posts, I talk about it a lot so obviously I'm in that place in life. There are moments every single day that I stop for a second just to soak in that moment, knowing that it is fleeting and evolving. Last night it was when I was cuddling with Norah before bed and she demanded I hold her, "Hold me mimi!" (she calls me Mimi)
It's kind of a strange feeling for me. In those moments that I soak up I'm both sad and incredibly excited. I'm of course sad in the way of thinking how she won't always still be a baby toddler and she won't always ask me to hold her, I expected to feel that way.

What I didn't realize is that even in those moments I'd be incredibly excited for the things to come. I'm SO excited to see her grow up. Every day she does things that amaze me and I love seeing her grow into a fun, excited, creative, drum to her own beat little girl. Sometimes it is little things that others probably would give me a strange look about. You know, tilt their head to the side, scrunch their eye brows and shake their head in confusion (and maybe ask Siri for the number to some sort of helpline).  Those little things that unless you are Norah's Mimi you probably won't care about - such as her being able to tell me what she had for snack at preschool, amaze me. Watching her grow mentally is so fun for me. Other times it is the big things, such as when she formulates a complex sentence that I've never heard her say before. Well... at least that is big to me :)
So I think my excitement for the future outweighs the sadness about her baby days fading. So I choose to soak in those fleeting moments and embrace the fun that is happening and the fun to come :)
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There is Crayon on my Wall

Confession? There is crayon on my wall. Not only that but it has been there for a few days. 

Sometimes I stress myself out with being the perfect stay at home mom. If I was able to ever obtain that image of a perfect SAHM that I have in my head, the kids would all have had a nice enjoyable breakfast (and with teeth already brushed, hair done and out of pajamas), a healthy lunch, lots of educational playtime and dinner would be done when the husband got home. Let's go over a normal day in my house... 
Both children wake up at the same moment wanting to immediately be changed and eat. It wouldn't matter if they were both eating table food, but Wesley is still only nursing of course so that adds a challenge to the breakfast routine. We watch too much tv and often are still in our pj's come lunch time. Wesley likes to be asleep and cozy in his bouncer when I take Norah up for nap and then wake up angry just as I'm getting her settled in. By the time Matt gets home from work we are at least thankfully all dressed for the day but dinner is often not started yet. 
Norah has discovered that it's a bit tough for me to do much while I'm nursing. This is where the crayon on the wall comes in. I gave Norah some paper and crayons to color with while I nursed Wesley the other day and she decided the wall made a better canvas. I of course didn't sit and let her do it but as you can see from the picture she made a bit of a masterpiece before I got to her. 
I think the reason I have not used my handy dandy magic eraser on it yet is that every time I look over and see it I'm reminded that it's not my job to be the perfect put together stay at home mom I'd like to be. My job is to love my children, make them feel safe and secure and provide them with learning experiences as best as I can - which often happen in the form of "life" - errands, library storytimes times, grocery store trips and the like. 
I doubt they will remember that their mom was sometimes slow to dress them or that I put on another episode of Dora so I could get the dog taken out and my own teeth brushed. What they will remember is how they felt when I reacted out of love vs out of anger when they color on the walls... 
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Mama

I started wanting to hear my child say "Mama" starting back in July 2009 when we started trying for a baby (if not before). I spent almost 15 months wondering when we were going to get that 2nd line one the pregnancy test telling me that we had one on the way that would say Mama one day. Then I spent 9 months praying everything would be okay with her and that we'd soon meet the little one that could eventually say mama.

So needless to say while I've been content with her being itty bitty, I've just like most mom's been excited to when she could call for me.

Yesterday morning I heard a few "Ma" sounds coming from Norah, which started to get me excited that "Mama" was coming soon. Last night she was saying Mama, Mama.... unfortunately it was in reference to the apples she was eating. She does love her apples. Even still I was excited though that she was starting to say it.

Today she's been saying it all day randomly (not just for apples!). I don't think she means anything by it quite yet but it still melts my heart. I'm excited when she's using it just for me.

If your child is old enough to talk when did they start saying mama?

Mom Fail

Today I let Norah fall off the couch.

Well didn't intentionally let her, but it happened. It's the first time she's gotten hurt. She was laying on the couch next to me playing with a large stuffed Goofy (my parents brought it back with them on their recent trip to Disney World) and I got up to look at something in the fridge (well actually the lack there of something... we REALLY need a trip to the store) which is not far at all from our living room, it connects and is about 6 steps away. I got to the fridge and heard her fall :( I don't make it a habit of leaving her on the couch, usually I pick her up and take her with me if I'm leaving the room - even for just a second. For some reason I didn't though - probably because I had been trying to get her to go to sleep.

I cried longer than she did, she cried for about 10-15 seconds and was ready to play again. I think it actually just startled her and didn't really hurt her. I'm glad her first accident happened on my watch though and not my husband's. In all honesty I probably would have been upset at him for letting it happen, you know because how could anyone let my little baby girl get hurt?!?! It's true though, I know I would have been upset. It's a good thing he is a better person than me... he brought me home ice cream because he knew I was upset about it :)